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Grandus Maximus Vendictus Custodius Taurus Autismus Scrungus VII
Grandus Maximus Vendictus Custodius Taurus Autismus Scrungus VII, better known simply as Scrungus, is a low-ranking Corvette-class Autistic Deity formerly assigned to the Multiverse Scout Corps. Scrungus broke free from the Autismax's iron-fisted rule after discovering that he would never be able to bang robots or aliens if the Sublime Detrimentus continued consuming new universes, and eventually found himself in 5CR56-Beta. The single cause of many of the worst things to befall the young universe of 5CR56, Scrungus is notably the creator of the Manky, and by extension, technically responsible for the creation of the Manky Collective, the Manky Warlords, Bojangeles, and a whole slew of other monstrosities that have been unleashed on the fledgling universe. Scrungus is the leader of the Asswagons, a trio of retards who's goal is to rediscover and summon Sex Shark to defeat the Manky Collective. It is generally accepted that every bad event that occurs post-Scrungus Emergence Event is Scrungus' fault in some way, shape, or form. History Origins Born from the Detrimentus Pit in the heart of the Outer Autismax - like every other Autistic Deity - in 2,400 BSEE, Scrungus was one of many born during the Detrimentus' Peppersalads Season- the mental state where the Sublime Detrimentus spends several months dreaming about sick YouTube pranks, and Deities born during this period often exhibit mischievous behavior -. Scrungus entered compulsory service in the Multiverse Scout Corps at the maximum conscription age of 69, and promptly went through form-lock a few years later. He served as an unremarkable scout, though was not prone to below-average performance. Scrungus went about on his daily duties, scouring for universes of sufficient mass and power to feed to the Outer Autismax, much like all other Corvettes in the Scout Corps. However, since his birth Scrungus had been hiding a kink from his fellow Autistic Deities: He wanted to bang aliens and/or robots. As time dragged on, Scrungus became more and more distraught that he would never be able to do so to any of the attractive specimens he discovered in each universe. Going AWOL During a night when Scrungus took leave for a week to go out and tour around the Outer Autismax and unwind, he caught a glimpse of one of countless universes in the sky being consumed by the Autismax. Seeing firsthand all the sweet puss he was missing out on, Scrungus finally snapped. Sending a long, drawn-out .mp4 file to Carrier Lord Autistuous LXIX via the forbidden Carrier Lord comms channel, Scrungus went ApeshitWOL, and upon seeing the now-exposed dimension of 5CR56-Beta, promptly fled into the fledgling universe. Autistuous was outraged, and terminated the Multiverse Scout Corps as a result. All Corvettes were promptly re-conscripted into the Divine Military of the Autismax, and were sent out into the multiverse in an omniversal manhunt. 5CR56-Beta, being a fledgling universe, was hard to find for most Autistic Deities. As Scrungus emerged inside the fledgling universe, the infamous cataclysm known as the Scrungus Emergence Event occured, decimating all galaxies near the point of emergence. After the dust settled and Scrungus' innate Autistic energy pools settled down after such an immense task as entering a foreign dimension, Scrungus set about to explore his newfound home. Hearing of an ancient, dead civilization known as the Memesmiths, Scrungus learned of their mystical abilities to manipulate the Dank Nucleic Acid (DNA) to create artifical Meme animals. Scrungus saw an opportunity to make an army to fight back against the Outer Autismax and it's destructive, anti-ayy-puss ways, and soon he vowed to bring an end to their omniversal tyranny. Rebirth of the Manky Scouring 5CR56-Beta for abandoned Memesmith facilities, Scrungus managed to compile incomplete genome blueprints utilized by the Memesmiths into a slightly-less incomplete genome blueprint. Using it as a reference, Scrungus attempted to modify his own DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Autism) to grant himself additional powers, and to an extent he succeeded. After these extensive modifications, Scrungus began creating many horrid creatures from modified versions of the blueprints, most of them failures. Failing more and more, Scrungus gave up on creating an ultimate Meme, and instead settled for his original creation: The Manky. Working off the Manky's genetic map, Scrungus created many subspecies of the Manky, including the Buff Manky, Space Manky, Big Manky, and Crab Manky. Keeping them contained in the various Memesmith facilities he'd transformed into makeshift living quarters for his creations, Scrungus set out to search for more Memesmith blueprint fragments. Along the way he befriended the human black market connoisseur Uncle Miguel, and eventually stumbled upon the fabled Maker of Memes, Spicoceles. Striking up a friendship with the Memesmith (and inadvertently corrupting the Maker of Memes' noble heart), Spicoceles offered to complete the genomes on a select few of Scrungus' Mankies, however he could not complete all of them, as his abundance of supplies was long gone. Scrungus agreed, and a single Manky from each subspecies was chosen. Spicoceles finished the incomplete genome maps of each Manky, and the psionic Manky Warlords were born. Manky Rebellion Initially, the Manky Warlords were intended to lead the other Mankies, acting as subordinates to Scrungus in his campaign against the Outer Autismax. However, the fully-evolved and completed Warlords grew too intelligent, and organized a rebellion against Scrungus. After Scrungus and Spicoceles fled the star system in panic, the Manky Warlords took control of the Mankies for themselves, creating the Manky Collective. The Manky Collective then set out into the galaxy to create an empire of conquest and chaos. The savage empire currently holds a massive bounty on the heads of Scrungus and Spicoceles (as well as those who associate with the two). Scrungus and Spicoceles discovered an old, derelict vehicle known as a "Dankmobile". An old tank that was commissioned by the Autisti Shamans for the Memesmiths to produce, only a handful of Dankmobiles saw production before the Autisti Shaman Rebellion broke out. The two quickly got the old vehicle working again and set out into the stars. Shakmasmic Cathedral As the two fled to the outskirts of the universe, the Corvette and the Memesmith stumbled upon a colossal floating space station. Resembling more the ruins of a crumbling temple than a space station, Scrungus and Spicoceles decided to make their way inside. Spicoceles soon recognized the temple as being of Autisti Shaman origin - and the two were confronted by a group of robots. Though Scrungus quickly began salivating at the sight of female robots with hips, Spicoceles became gravely concerned, as he thought the Autisti Shamans' AIs had all but fallen into disrepair without their masters to take care of them. The two soon found out they were located in a grand overseer station called the Shakmasmic Cathedral. Doubling as a fringe outpost to monitor the progress of universal civilization whilst acting as a place of religious worship for Sex Shark, the robots revealed themselves to be the former Advisors to the noble Autisti Shaman Councillors. Self-repairing and self-aware, the Advisors were left on the station during the Autisti Shaman Civil War shortly before the Autisti Shaman Rebellion, as the Councillors who were not aligned with Wargabajulu (that is to say: all of them) foresaw that their end was near, and they felt that 5CR56-Beta would need careful observation in the absence of any noble-hearted folk like the Memesmiths and the Autisti Shamans. Another Advisor appeared to the two. She appeared slightly more old and degraded than the other four, and her mental capacitors had clearly suffered extensive damage over the eons. Holding a colossal bong (the two would later learn she was known among the other Advisors as the "Weed Advisor"), the degraded Advisor offered Scrungus and Spicoceles to join the Advisors in their next Shakmasmic sermon. Scrungus initially refused, wondering why those who had killed the Maker of Memes' kin in cold blood would offer such a thing. After Spicoceles explained that these Advisors were aligned with the not-megalomaniacal Councillors and thus held good intentions, Scrungus half-heartedly accepted the offer. Spicoceles was eager to repair relations between what was left of his kind and the Shamans'. Shakmasmic Sermon Scrungus began to warm up to the idea of ther sermon, as Spicoceles helped the Advisors set it up. Once they were all gathered in the central chamber with a gigantic mural of Sex Shark towering above them, the Weed Advisor brought out the largest bong in her private collection. Setting it in the center of the chamber, the group arranged in a circle, and quickly got stoned off their collective ass. Though the Advisors were capable of accelerated mental power under the effects of the sacred leaves' intoxication, Scrungus and Spicoceles were anything but. The two quickly began unknowingly engaging in homosexual intercourse (much to the annoyance of all except the Weed Advisor, who attempted (and failed) to join in on the action). Eventually it became too much of a nuisance for the Advisors to bear, and they had the Corvette and Memesmith thrown out the airlock. The Advisors almost forgot about the Dankmobile the two had brought, but the Advisors decided to eject it in their general direction out of kindness. But not before leaving a note taped onto the vehicle's interior dashboard reading: "We really appreciated your visit, Maker of Memes. The fact you worked up the courage to attempt and repair bonds between the small remnants of our two kinds means a lot to us. Also never fucking come back here ever again, and keep that fucking freak you brought with you away from our temple. Thanks!" Uncle Miguel & the Quest for Sex Shark When Scrungus and Spicoceles awoke from their furious, intoxicated intercourse, the two found themselves drifting in space. After momentarily panicking, the two quickly scrambled back to their Dankmobile, and the two of them were discovered by Uncle Miguel, who was travelling through the fringe areas on his way to the next loli black market. He decided to take the two into his van. After the three of them conversed, Scrungus and Spicoceles told Miguel about the vision they received from Sex Shark during the sermon they participated in aboard the Shakmasmic Cathedral. The vision called for the two to journey around the galaxy to find Sex Shark, as a great danger threatened the entire universe, and, if allowed to prosper, could soon threaten the entire omniverse. The group has christened themselves the Asswagons, is now on a universal hunt to try and find the mythical Dreadnought-class Autistic Deity, avoiding Mankies, bounty hunters, and other assorted villains while visiting dank vistas, glorious hellscapes, and many other places of varying majesty in their quest to find him, with the ultimate goal of stopping the Manky Collective before they can destroy the entire universe. New body After the Asswagons had a run-in with Bojangeles on the resort planet of Carbomya, Scrungus was injured by the mutant terrorist's assault before he was forced to flee. Scrungus' injuries were critical, but soon Spicoceles designed and constructed a new body for Scrungus to inhabit, and once the trio made it back to Miguel's van, an operation was performed allowing Scrungus to survive, at the cost of transporting his brain into a robotic body. Appearance Scrungus resembles a huge mechanical crab with an eating disorder, painted in a glimmering white/silver finish. Possessing a wide, fat body where each limb connects, Scrungus has a retractable proboscis which he uses to feed on sand, gravel, and soil. Several limbs extend out of the front of his chassis, tipped with four-fingered grasping claws. Two of these arms are considered the "main" limbs, being larger and jointed, while the other, "secondary", limbs are smaller and are tentacle-like in nature. Two bulbous, insectoid eyes are set inside Scrungus' main chassis, which glow a vibrant green. Ironically, despite their size, the construction of the chassis inhibits most of their line of sight. Above the eyehole are two small fin-like weapons, which fire bolts of Autistic energy. Scrungus possesses six heavy, jointed legs, angled upward and giving him an awkward squat appearance. Several jointed bars and pistons connect to Scrungus' legs, and the general construction of his legs has earned many comments from Scrungus himself about how cumbersome and uncomfortable it is to move in general. A basket is mounted on Scrungus' back, for the obvious purpose of transporting and storing things for Scrungus' own convenience. Scrungus' original Autistic Deity form was described as such: "Malformed and unnerving, Scrungus was one of many Autistic Deities who chose not to use the nebulous abilities of their bodies, and as a result became locked in a condition known as form-lock. Like most others afflicted by the condition, Scrungus considered it an inconvenience at best, and remained in this form from then on. Apparently supposed to resemble a humanoid being of some kind, Scrungus possesses a grossly enlarged head, with greasy locks of swept, messy hair vaguely combed into a bang on the right side of his head. Possessing a permanent grimace and a pubes-like mustache, Scrungus admits he chose his current form solely because it "looked funny" to him. The Deity's grossly disproportionate eyes are housed in a roughly peanut-shaped head, appearing at first glance to directly connect to the shoulders rather than via a neck. Scrungus' body is unnaturally long and slender for what is allegedly intended to represent a humanoid anatomy, with his arms and legs bearing more functional resemblance to tentacles or tendrils than jointed limbs." Abilities Being an Autistic Deity, Scrungus possesses one power unique to the subspecies he was born into. However, since his transformation into his new robotic form, Scrungus has gained a slew of new abilities. * Corvette Link -''' Being a Corvette-class Autistic Deity, Scrungus has a strong link to the Sublime Detrimentus, allowing him to enter other universes without losing his link to the Autismax and dying as a result. * '''Autistic energy weaponizing - Scrungus possesses two fin-like antennae on top of his head, which fire out weaponized Autistic energy. * Dirt consumption - Spicoceles constructed Scrungus' new body to be able to run off of little more than gravel, sand, dirt, and other types of sediment. * Mechanical odor detection - Scrungus' robotic body possesses enhanced smell through it's proboscis, and Scrungus can use this sense of smell to track down faraway targets like a bloodhound. * Shit Cannon - Named after the weapon that caused Scrungus to end up in his current form, Scrungus has a concealed artillery cannon on the rear of his underbelly, capable of dispensing excrements at such a high velocity that the kinetic force of it is capable of explosively tearing through metal and stone. Personality Being an Autistic Deity, Scrungus exhibits many impaired and otherwise disabled tendencies, including spontaneous asinine screaming among others. Scrungus lacks a significant amount of self-awareness, as demonstrated in his borderline suicidal transmission to Carrier Lord Autistuous LXIX. In 5CR56-Beta, Scrungus adopted an existential Lovecraftian entity persona, and fooled many a civilization into believing he was genuinely a divine entity (but somehow not doing anything with such newfound subordinate civilizations). In his new form, Scrungus is fond of terrorizing underdeveloped tribal species by rampaging through their villages and abducting randomly selected individuals, often citing this hobby as "a social experiment", and less commonly as a prank. According to Spicoceles and Miguel, Scrungus treats these abductees as a casual snack of some kind. This behavior is likely connected to Scrungus being born during the Detrimentus' Peppersalads Season. Relationships * Spicoceles - Scrungus considers Spicoceles his closest friend, as the Corvette-class Autistic Deity had nothing of the sort during his time in the Outer Autismax's service. * Uncle Miguel - Scrungus' second-closest friend, Scrungus holds gratitude toward Miguel for allowing him and Spicoceles in his van, and respects him for his bravery in his decision to help them find Sex Shark. * Squid - Scrungus considered Squid a well-liked acquaintance up until his ecchi printing scheme, though Squid's opinion on Scrungus was quite the opposite. Category:Characters Category:Autistic Deities Category:The Outer Autismax Category:Protagonists Category:Asswagons